It's not spring but there are hundreds of butterflies fluttering around me. Not in the garden but in my stomach. You see, it's Mr Teen's birthday and with this one he has his first driving lesson booked in the afternoon. He has wanted to drive all his life, wanted his independence and freedom to go where and when he pleases. So, it was obvious what his gift would be this year!
As our baby has grown there has been the first word, first step, first day at school, first trip away from home, exams and first day at college. Each new step met with a very anxious mother trying to guide the way. It's so hard to cut the apron strings but this time, this moment of watching him drive, has been the worst parenting moment for me. His uniform on the washing line is a thing of the past, it is time to move on.
Part of it is my selfishness, the feeling that he will be free to live his life without asking. Eventually I will become the passenger and not the driver. Another part is the fact that my baby is now a man. We have had many disagreements lately and I think it is me trying to keep hold of my baby and that this moment of parenting has been the hardest for me. We end the disagreements with 'are we good?' and the reply is always a hug before we have another disagreement. Yes, this has to be the hardest time in parenting for me, the old wood making way for the new leaf.
So, after a couple of years Miss Teen will be doing the same, so it's just you and me Coco. Stop foraging in the old leaves and picking up cobwebs! Fancy a walk?
A Happy Birthday to my Mr Teen!!
ps. Hubby is about but keeps his feelings well hidden, I do believe he is as nervous as me! He is just quiet and keeping very busy today :-)