It's not spring but there are hundreds of butterflies fluttering around me. Not in the garden but in my stomach. You see, it's Mr Teen's birthday and with this one he has his first driving lesson booked in the afternoon. He has wanted to drive all his life, wanted his independence and freedom to go where and when he pleases. So, it was obvious what his gift would be this year!
As our baby has grown there has been the first word, first step, first day at school, first trip away from home, exams and first day at college. Each new step met with a very anxious mother trying to guide the way. It's so hard to cut the apron strings but this time, this moment of watching him drive, has been the worst parenting moment for me. His uniform on the washing line is a thing of the past, it is time to move on.
Part of it is my selfishness, the feeling that he will be free to live his life without asking. Eventually I will become the passenger and not the driver. Another part is the fact that my baby is now a man. We have had many disagreements lately and I think it is me trying to keep hold of my baby and that this moment of parenting has been the hardest for me. We end the disagreements with 'are we good?' and the reply is always a hug before we have another disagreement. Yes, this has to be the hardest time in parenting for me, the old wood making way for the new leaf.
So, after a couple of years Miss Teen will be doing the same, so it's just you and me Coco. Stop foraging in the old leaves and picking up cobwebs! Fancy a walk?
A Happy Birthday to my Mr Teen!!
ps. Hubby is about but keeps his feelings well hidden, I do believe he is as nervous as me! He is just quiet and keeping very busy today :-)
Take care.
Happy Birthday to your son! I remember when I turned driving age.....yahoo! lol A totally different story when mine turned that age...(insert bite nails here). I wondered at that moment how my parents coped. I guess we all did but I can definitely relate. Cheers from your newest follower.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to your son! It is so hard to let go at first but I realized they had to make their own mistakes and find their own way. So now I only give advice when asked and everyone says they are lovely people so we must have done something right. I think the driving lessons are the easy bit, someone is with them watching and guiding. I bet your son is having the time of his life. Hope you and your OH get to enjoy your son's birthday as much as he will. Take care.
ReplyDeleteAli xx
It must be bittersweet. Mine are so tiny still that I look forward to...long even...for them to be just a bit more independent and less clingy, but I know when they reach their teenage years it will all seem like a distant time ago and sting a bit as they reach for their car keys. I had a lot of arguments with my parents at that age as they tried to keep control and I fought for freedom! X
ReplyDeleteLetting go is the hardest part of parenting but that is what it is all about. Giving them the skills to fly the nest and live their own lives. Not knowing where they are every minute of the day and not being able to keep them so close is hard. Soon you will be lying awake at silly o'clock in the morning waiting to hear the car so you know they are home safe. It's the hardest bit but the most rewarding when they turn out to be wonderful adults. x
ReplyDeleteI've always said the two biggest parenting milestones are getting your kids potty trained and teaching them to drive. My two kids are now grown and on their own, but I can tell you it was a hard transition. But you will survive. Good luck with Mr. Teen!
ReplyDeleteAh yes, children grow up and become autonomous and our roles are redefined. I know that the letting go bit can be hard. Lovely photos to illustrate your feelings.
ReplyDeleteOh Chel, what a moving heartfelt post, I felt and agree with every word, we equip our children with the skills needed for adult life, but then we don't want them to make that giant leap into it. And now I feel the same for my grandson, he is only 11 but already I can see the teenager emerging, I want to wrap my arms around him and keep him protected. Happy Birthday to Mr Teen.
ReplyDeleteDon't cut the apron strings just don't tie them too tightly.
ReplyDeleteAh..yes...I do understand where you are coming from. My son will be 18 next month...and butterflies here as well. I agree, don't cut the apron strings yet, just don't tie them to tightly...hang on...Blessings
ReplyDeletePS HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
ReplyDeleteSuch a traumatic time in a parent's life. It starts a whole new phase of yours and their life. Actually, I enjoyed it when my son started driving - every errand that needed to be run, he volunteered for. Saved me a lot of time. LOL
ReplyDeleteJudy
I know exactly what you're going through Chel. I've been through it twice, but here is Florida, our kids get a learner's permit at 15 and we teach them to drive and they can get their driver's license at 16. Too young! It is definitely difficult to let go. I used to think it was difficult raising young children, but it was a cake walk compared to having young adult children. It does get easier though. Prayers for you sweet friend. Have a blessed day.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Vicky
Remember the 11th Commandment "Thou shalt not sweat it." [giggle] I'm sure he'll do fine. Driving, especially motorcycling, is something I really enjoy too. It's a good reminder of at least one of our liberties we still have. Hope your day is as bright, cheerful and pretty as ours is. Have a blessed day! ~:)
ReplyDeleteOMG! I wouldn't be ready to handle this either! Luckily I have few more years before I have to hand Bryn the car keys!! I am glad they'll be a few more "transitional" parenting moments before I reach that stage. Try not to worry too much, Mom! Remind yourself that you've raised a smart and careful young man! XXOXO B
ReplyDeleteI remember my two daughters first driving lessons at 18 very well and indeed, I was deadly nervous too. Nowadays I love to be the passenger and not the driver. Coco looks so cute!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to Mr Teen! Chel, the payoff came for us when the Best Beloved and I went out for a meal to celebrate our wedding anniversary, both drank alcohol and The Teacher, aged 17, acted as chauffeur. Look for the benefits, the independence it will give both you and Mr Teen. Take care. x
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to your son, Chel. Letting them grow up and be independent is the hardest part of parenting, in my opinion. I hope his first driving lesson went well! :o)
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this post with two of my three having passed their driving tests. It is hard to adjust to our changing roles as the parents of teenagers, but it's lovely to watch them grow into young independent people, and to enjoy our own increasing independence too. Hope he enjoyed his lesson and had a lovely birthday :)
ReplyDeleteCathy x
it's hard when they become independent and want to 'move' apart from you. with both of our 'kids' it was hard, and in a car where danger is there. a bit of word of encouragement for you? my son is now a police officer and drives very well. It's in the letting go where we learn to trust and allow them to 'move on'...Just as God does for us, he allows us choice and then watches for us to come back to him.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to Mr. Teen. I well know the feeling you are experiencing, Chel - when our three headed out the first time in the car alone, I was on tenterhooks until they arrived safely back at our door. Letting go is hard, there's no doubt about it. When one can let them go and soar on their own wings (with a few mishaps along the way), one finds that they will return gladly for advice, for companionship and for love to their family home. Trust God. Trust your son. Trust your own parenting skills.
ReplyDeleteYour pup is so cute!
ReplyDeleteYou wonder where the years go so fast at this point. Happy birthday to your son, Chel. I like Lorrie's advice at the end of her comment. :) Blessings.
ReplyDeleteUnderstand completely. I'm not at that stage yet, with my Miss Early Teen only in her 2nd year at high school, but I know it will go quickly and I get butterflies just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteOh so sweet -- and yet so bitter -- the growing up and letting go - is indeed one of the hardest things I've ever had to do up to that point when my children all left to live their own lives..bitter sweet feelings...Give yourself time once he leave leaves a change will take part in your too and it can be hard to get through but keep close God with prayer and you'll do just fine!
ReplyDeleteHugs
A big milestone indeed! Very scary for you I imagine, but it will all be good in the end! Whatever happens your husband and Coco will still be there and loving you! xx
ReplyDeleteI hope it all goes well. It's hard to let go but you will get more and more used to it as they get older. My younger son didn't want to learn to drive! Eventually, when he must have 20 and I was tired being a taxi, I insisted that he learn to drive. I gave him lessons myself (and then he went to a driving instructor). The first time he drove himself he couldn't believe how great it felt! He absolutely loved it.
ReplyDeleteParenting is both the most difficult and the most rewarding job we will ever have. My heart goes out to you and your husband... As encouragement, way on down the line... grandparenting is the BEST job you will ever have. ;) I can tell you are doing a great job... lots of love. That's the most important part. blessings ~ tanna
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your son, and good luck with the driving lessons. These milestones are so immense and emotional to parents and to our children they are all about the exciting opportunities......
ReplyDeleteWishing you a happy week.
Helen xox
Ahh I remember the tears when our son went off to college. All those years of hopefully doing the right thing to prepare them for life and then letting them go. I'm sure your son will love the independence- and I'm sure there will be a moment or two of doubt and anxiety- it's only natural. The disagreements will continue but it's only natural as they need to cut the cord too! Happy Birthday to your teen!
ReplyDeleteThis is what you've been working for all these years! And it is bittersweet. Happy birthday!
ReplyDeleteAmalia
xo
Hello,
ReplyDeleteOh my, I am with you. My oldest will be taking his driving lessons this year. So many changes coming up for us. Sending you a big HUG and Happy Birthday wishes.
Carla
Happy Birthday to your son!
ReplyDeleteOh boy, I know your heart. I worried so much when my boys were learning to drive -and still worry about safety. It will become a little easier over time, but we never stop worrying about our children. That is part of being a mom....but nothing so sweeter.....
xx
So hard to let go, but so good for them to learn independence. I remember the first time Mallory drove away by herself, yikes!! so scary!
ReplyDeleteI remember every stage as being so hard as they seem to need us less and less but oh to see the wings bud and they start to fly ever so gently at first...You begin to realize you've done a good job and they will always love and need you just in other ways...I am loving my adult kids but often I think oh what I would give for just one day with them as a child.....
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to Mr. Teen. Driving is a worry at first because we know how little they understand about the power of the car they're driving and how terrible the consequences can be if they aren't paying attention. On the other hand, most of us survived learning to drive. We've got 5 grown children who drive and manage to do it without me. Not that I want to ride with them, mind you. Lol
ReplyDeleteIt can't be easy to step back...but the path away will always lead back to you. Happy B day to him.
ReplyDeleteJen
I've been through that with my eldest ... it very scary the first few times they take off on their own. Hopefully eventually it does get easier and you will enjoy not having to drive so much yourself!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how Mr and you react quite differently to the exact same feeling? I know it must be annoying for your son that you are both so worried, but it's what love does to you!
ReplyDeleteI remember what that was like and I don't envy you. It still makes me nervous to watch my 19 year old daughter drive off lol
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to your son and good luck :)
Be thankful. Neither of my kids has yet got their driver's license. I want them to get it, but I don't really know what the hold up is. Happy Birthday to your son, and good luck with the driving. I'm sure you'll settle into this new facet quickly enough. I had my license for a few years before I got my first car. Getting my car was the BEST thing as we lived in the country and I had no way of getting from A to B without my parents' permission to use their car (usually denied). So I can understand totally the desire for independence. But I also understand that letting your kids go is sometimes rough. I feel that tug every time we drop my daughter back at her university home. Wendy
ReplyDeleteOur son went away to university when he was 17. The 2 months between high school graduation and the "off to Berkeley" day were miserable for all of us. I said it was the Lord's way of making us want Joshua to leave. Of course, I was a basket case after he left - such changes in the family.
ReplyDeleteOur children are adults now, but the teen years were definitely a challenge.
Chel this is so sweet! I so remember those days. now I have grands older than this. Enjoy each and every one of these moments because they will pass so quickly!
ReplyDeletehugs,
Jann
I've been right where you are and it will be okay! It's hard being a mother at times.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for popping in to see me.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)
Aw, Chel, I know it is hard seeing your child growing into an adult right before your eyes, but this just means that you have done a good job of it and all those years of guiding and teaching will now help guide his wings in the right direction. Believe me, this time of life will transition into wonderful rewards as your children blossom and grow. They will temporarily seem to grow away from you, but will come back as wonderful people and friends in their own right, with the blessings of bringing their own loves into the fold. Still, I know new drivers are nerve wracking for parents waiting at home.....those sleepless nights until they come in can really tire you out. Hang in there, the best is yet to come. Hugs xo Karen
ReplyDeleteI can just imagine what you are going through right now and how nervous you must be! I know I would be too. You are putting tears in my eyes as I write this. Well happy birthday to Mr. Teen! Take care and be well. Enjoy the rest of the week!
ReplyDeleteHugs, Julie
You're a bit ahead of me here. But I already find myself trying to explain the traffic and driving situation as we go around our day. I'm trying to give him head start! on what I know will surely come. I say to him what my Mum said to me which was, 'oh your Dad was a good driver, you'll be a good driver!' or in his case I say, 'well your Dad's got very quick reactions' we won't mention the speed he drives at! Also I think have as many driving lessons as possible! X
ReplyDeleteI promise it gets better. Those few years are trying to say the least. Wine helped me get through it (just kidding). If they only told us what teens were going to be like in those baby classes.....LOL. Beckie
ReplyDelete