A New Milestone in Parenting

It's not spring but there are hundreds of butterflies fluttering around me.  Not in the garden but in my stomach.  You see, it's Mr Teen's birthday and with this one he has his first driving lesson booked in the afternoon.  He has wanted to drive all his life, wanted his independence and freedom to go where and when he pleases.  So, it was obvious what his gift would be this year!

As our baby has grown there has been the first word, first step, first day at school, first trip away from home, exams and first day at college.  Each new step met with a very anxious mother trying to guide the way.  It's so hard to cut the apron strings but this time, this moment of watching him drive, has been the worst parenting moment for me.  His uniform on the washing line is a thing of the past, it is time to move on.

Part of it is my selfishness, the feeling that he will be free to live his life without asking.  Eventually I will become the passenger and not the driver.  Another part is the fact that my baby is now a man.  We have had many disagreements lately and I think it is me trying to keep hold of my baby and that this moment of parenting has been the hardest for me.  We end the disagreements with 'are we good?' and the reply is always a hug before we have another disagreement.  Yes, this has to be the hardest time in parenting for me, the old wood making way for the new leaf.

So, after a couple of years Miss Teen will be doing the same, so it's just you and me Coco.  Stop foraging in the old leaves and picking up cobwebs!  Fancy a walk?

A Happy Birthday to my Mr Teen!!

ps. Hubby is about but keeps his feelings well hidden, I do believe he is as nervous as me!  He is just quiet and keeping very busy today :-)

Take care.

      

Another Parenting Milestone

When you become a parent there are milestones to be reached and recorded, the first word, the first step, the first day at school - the list goes on.  Each one fills your heart with pride to the point of bursting.  It is as though nobody else's child has done it in the grand scheme of life.

As your child grows, the patience and understanding grows too as this little baby turns into a person with their own opinions and ideas.  You notice yourself smiling as their little traits come out, who do they take after?  and, where did they get that idea from?  Their interests begin to materialise and then the nurturing begins.  Clubs and trips along with the obvious 'Mum and Dad's Taxi Service' on constant standby.

The trials and tribulations start as they get older and their ideas start to clash with others that they have grown up with and friends change.  A parent's job now involves the empathy and guidance to see them through to keep their individuality and not do things that make them feel uncomfortable with themselves.

Then the teenage years start.  Oh yes, the hard times where everything is 'so unfair'.  Hormones kick in, spots appear, hair sprouting everywhere and mood swings - oh boy, mood swings!  To top it all, exams, exams and more exams.  The parent's job becomes the counsellor, police sergeant, public enemy number one, peacemaker and never, ever to embarrass!  Trying to keep your cool, trying to entertain, trying to support. 'Trying' being the buzz word.

And so, this week the milestone for Mr Teen was the end of his GCSE's and the final signing off on his last day at School!  Yes, my baby boy has turned into a school leaver.  I desperately wanted to be there when he walked through the school gates for the last time but due to a huge event I couldn't.  This 'difficult' teen who has spent the last few weeks thinking I am some sort of prison warden while he studied and fought through his GCSE's decided to make sure I didn't miss this milestone and called me from his mobile as he walked through the gates and walked down the road.

His voice was happy, relieved and euphoric!  Something that a parent just couldn't miss.  Another milestone achieved.

The next milestone?  College boy in September!

Being a parent feels so hard sometimes but moments such as a simple phone call made on the spur of the moment to keep their parents involved in their lives is priceless.  All the hard work has been rewarded by that brief conversation and I am so incredibly proud.

The photos this week are a continuation of last week's Heritage Weekend.  This is the Dean's garden at the Cathedral on and around Tout Hill which is within the garden.  It is on the site of a medieval Motte and Bailey Castle.  The mound was called the Motte.  On top of the motte was a wooden tower which would provide a stronghold.  There would be a large courtyard alongside the motte and this was called the bailey and would have a strong gateway often with a drawbridge.  

And now, it is time for a little bonfire with my son and a ceremonial burning of uniform!

Have a wonderful weekend and week.

Take care.

You can also follow me on:

 

16 Years of Parenthood

I don't want to harp on about the weather here, but it really has been truly terrible.  Floods and high winds carry on attacking our shores and inland.  The ditches around Lincolnshire are getting higher and higher and the winds stronger and stronger.  Friday night I had no sleep whatsoever as I am openly terrified of high winds.  Damaging and uncharitable weather that has me shaking and anxious.  Friday night I listened as I could hear the tiles on the roof shaking as the extreme gusts hit the house.  On the news I watched the evening's terror unfold.  Mother Nature showing her strength once again.

Oh well, there is always a silver lining as I needed to be up early anyway to prepare for a very special day for Mr Teenager... his 16th birthday!  Balloons...

... wrapping...

... parcels...

... all the planning put together and a son deeply happy and appreciative.

As well as this being Mr T's birthday, it also marks a milestone in my life of being a mum for sixteen years.  I can remember all those years ago buying book after book and listening to any snippets of advice on how to be the perfect mother.  Do I continue working? Do I give work up and concentrate on being a mother? What do I feed him?  Should we move closer to a more populated town (lived in a hamlet at the time)?...  So many questions.  The answers were of course, what ever suits you and your family best, but this is in hindsight now which you can't really put in a book.  One piece of advice that was true which everyone told me, was that you must embrace the early years as they are gone in a flash'.  Each year has brought different challenges, but each episode has bloomed into the next episode of his life.

This little shoot of life was born two weeks late.  Blonde, blue eyed and healthy, we were truly blessed.

As a toddler he was very inquisitive and had a memory that soaked everything up like a sponge.  He loved nature and his surroundings as we were living at the cottage at the time with its four thatched cottages and protected countryside.  His walks were full of wildlife and rolling Essex hills and valleys, and he was loved by neighbours who had been there for decades.  A new life in this beautiful hamlet stuck in time.

The years continued and things in our lives changed but Mr Teen started flourishing and became his own little person.  Starting school, making new friends, learning patience, toleration and also change.

Some changes had to be made when his love and attitude to life were being eaten away.  To see this positive and happy little boy gradually decline into anxiety and sadness was extremely hard.  It was time to change schools to a more nurturing and happy one where teachers were more respectful to their pupils.

Almost instantly the spark returned. The pages of knowledge of the various teachers through the years made him flourish once again, nurturing his love of life with the support of us as parents.

Sixteen years of parenting has had its trials and tribulations but for all of these years I have loved every single moment of watching this baby grow into a man.  He is his own person, his own opinions.  He is always so pleasant and polite and will be the first one to help anyone out.  Yes he can still have a 'tantrum' but usually because he is right and will finish it with 'come on mum, give us a hug'.  He is the 'better man'.

And so, 16, and now on the next journey of his life... College!  Last week he made me nearly scream out in the College car park when he was given a conditional offer for a course he wants to do when he leaves school in a couple of months.  The offer showed just how much he has learned with the help of his parents and teachers because he was being accepted on a level higher than he went in for.  I am so proud of him!

So, what have I learned over the last sixteen years?  Go with your gut feeling and not to copy others unless it suits you.  Encourage your children to be an individual and go against the peer pressure, this makes them stronger and able to form their own opinions.  Find the things that they love to do and nurture them.  Love them and believe in them and the rest comes easy.  There are no books that can teach you that, just time gradually imparting your experienced advice to the younger layers of your gene pool.

As I look outside with the quiet weather that has just returned and the sunshine on the grass again, I think about what the next sixteen years will bring.  His first job? A wedding? Grandchildren?... Another chapter of the book of life.

Well with the sunshine making a brief appearance, I will now take a look at the damage that the wind has left behind.  My thoughts are with those of you who are having the most dreadful of winters no matter where you are.  And those enjoying the rays of sun, please send them on the jet stream to blow this way!

Take care.

You can also follow me on:

 

Sharing with:

Sunlit Sunday
Home Sweet Home